Liveblog: IGN Live Presents: GTA V Trailer #2

Yes, it’s that moment you’ve all been waiting for: IGN is gifting upon us half an hour of glorious commentary on the build-up to the next GTA V trailer! What exciting insights will they have to offer about this not-yet-revealed trailer that they know nothing about? Why would anyone spend half an hour watching nothing happening? Is the horrifying, bright green ASDA advertising plastered all over their site for UK visitors actually for real? Find out in this EXCLUSIVE LIVE BLOG.

15:29 – nothing happening as of yet. ASDA advert doesn’t spread as far as the IGN Live site, mercifully.

15:30 – still nothing. Web viewer states “Error Creating Media”. The IGN comments thread is getting antsy.

15:35 – IGN Twitter feed claiming the video “Should be ready soon”. The fans get grumpier. How dare they make us wait for our inane babbling!?

15:37 – Where be the feed? IGN states “It be at on its way! Minor technical difficulties :)”
MINOR TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES MY BOTTOM! This is the worst thing to happen to games journalism since Doritosgate.

15:40 – still no footage of the build up to a trailer. This is worse than the Hindenburg disaster.

15:42 – it’s live! At least, it is on IGN’s Twitch channel.

15:43 – BREAKING: “I think there’s going to be big explosions”.

15:44 – “I don’t think they’re going to mess up the soundtrack” – good to know.

15:46 – Predictably enough, in lieu of any news to report, we’re now falling back on offering ‘insightful commentary’ on the articles that everyone already interested in the trailer will have read: “If you zoom in on the screenshot, it’s not just dirt on the right side of his neck, it’s a tattoo, it says ‘cut me’… this guy has issues”. MAJOR CHARACTER IN GTA V HAS ISSUES, you heard it here first!

15:47 – “We’re just jumping to conclusions” – never a more accurate description of a program leading up to the release of a trailer has been uttered.

15:49 – so far, a lot of direct lifts from the articles you’ve already read about the game, along with the occasional “I don’t know if we’ll see this in the trailer…”. Great stuff!

15:52 – VIEWFINDER GIVEAWAY!!!111

15:53 – do you remember viewfinders? I remember viewfinders. They were the coolest thing when I was six. Man. And they’re a preorder incentive! Official: GTA V is the best game six-year-old me would never have been allowed to play.

15:54 – “Fun times. I like this GTA business.” “What’s your favourite GTA?” “…um, that’s a tricky question”. And to think, I wasn’t sure that this trailer to a trailer would offer quality, informative content! Boy am I glad to have been proven wrong.

15:57 – currently on about their memories of San Andreas. I have memories of San Andreas. They mostly involve getting sick of waiting for it to be released on PC. I look forward to reliving those moments with GTA V! (Hopefully with added awful optimisation, just like INSTANT CLASSIC GTA IV)

15:57 – “It’s really cool to celebrate new trailers” – So true. There is nothing cooler than celebrating new adverts.

15:59 – “Now’s about the time when all the major games are out, or almost out… now’s the time we start thinking about 2013… obviously one of those games is GTA V.” “It’s why this year’s going to be so much better than next year!”

16:00 – The trailer is down! The trailer is down! All hands on deck! “They’ve ruined everything!”

16:00 – IGN endorses putting false dates in the age-verification forms. SICKENING.

16:01 – and as the speakers enter “reverent silence” for the trailer, I sign off. Hope you enjoyed this liveblogging of the most exciting, worthwhile programme IGN have put together in at least five minutes.

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